a friend once said....

this is a good remedy to many ills.

charlie chaplin - table ballet - Click here for more home videos

and i believe he was right. 

i'm a bad blogger, but things are getting way out of hand here in nyc.

show opening, finals, falling.  the city doesn't rest and nor can we. 

jealousy.

living in brooklyn is wonderful and i have much more to say about that. but i just want found this map of the public libraries in brooklyn alone. this is amazing.



i'm doing some art historical research and thought i might be able to find a bit of extra information outside of the NYCAMS studio library. i don't think i'll have any trouble finding material.

just for a quick comparison. maps of my other "hometowns" libraries.

grand rapids.



lakeland.



this is what i get excited about. excited enough to stop everything i'm working on and posting about it.


while i'm here. i've recently started a blog site [ lakelandd4e ] that i'll be managing for the college group of Trinity Presbyterian in lakeland. hopefully that will provide a nice online presence for the group.

anyway. more to come later.
k.

exhausted.

 

i'm pooped. 

i'm on the verge of really making some strides to get packing for nyc. in a week i'll be attempting to sleep on an amtrak train, probably somewhere around virginia. it's very strange indeed. but exciting. 

i'm not sure that i have much of insight to say at this moment. (not that i usually do.) if anything, i've recently been having some interesting porch conversations with some in friends down here in lakeland  about church groups, naming them, "marketing" them and how churches have failed so many times in their attempts to "reach the many".  these conversations paired with a healthy portion of bitterness, baggage and jadedness to churches, have sparked a curiosity in me to figure out what's going on with this emergent church business and read more into the ideas of the 21st century Church and its relationship with postmodernism. i remember first hearing about the emergent movement a few years back, but admittedly, i've done little to learn more.

last semester i was a book group and we read through james k. a. smith's book "Who's Afraid of Postmodernism?". while certainly not without its weaknesses, it was an interesting introduction to christian views on postmodernism that didn't equate postmodernism with the decay of morality and an altogether wretched thing. 

anyway, i'm interested in where the church is headed. i'm sure there will be many a more articulate post on the matter in the coming days. (here's for hoping). 

well, i'm sorry, i went a little link happy this time around. i hope you enjoyed some of the more lighthearted ones..... (jesus maybe?)

anyway, at the current rate, i'll probably be in new york the next time i post. 

prayers would be appreciated. (and mail!)

listening to: bill callahan, Day. 

encouragement. - just do it.

i once received a copy of this letter from a professor and friend. he sent it to me as an encouragement in for my own art making. while i'm not sure of what exactly eva's letter to sol said, i can piece together that similarity to myself, she was a woman who had very high expectations of her own work and found herself frustrated at the space between expectation and reality.  i find that i am also that type of woman, and have a tendency to over think my own work which inevitably leads to a halt in production. this letter, was one of the most encouraging things i read last semester. i appreciate sol's words to eva, his appreciation of her ideas and work and his understanding of her as a person. just beautiful. 

thank you chen for sharing this with me.

(please excuse the language.)

Sol LeWitt, writing in 1965, counsels a young Eva Hesse to stop over-thinking her art.

Dear Eva,
It will be almost a month since you wrote to me and you have possibly forgotten your state of mind (I doubt it though). You seem the same as always, and being you, hate every minute of it. Don't! Learn to say "Fuck You" to the world once in a while. You have every right to. Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping, confusing, itchin, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rumbling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose sticking, ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just DO!

From your description, and from what I know of your previous work and you [sic] ability; the work you are doing sounds very good "Drawing-clean-clear but crazy like machines, larger and bolder... real nonsense." That sounds fine, wonderful - real nonsense. Do more. More nonsensical, more crazy, more machines, more breasts, penises, cunts, whatever - make them abound with nonsense. Try and tickle something inside you, your "weird humor." You belong in the most secret part of you. Don't worry about cool, make your own uncool. Make your own, your own world. If you fear, make it work for you - draw & paint your fear and anxiety. And stop worrying about big, deep things such as "to decide on a purpose and way of life, a consistant [sic] approach to even some impossible end or even an imagined end" You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO!

I have much confidence in you and even though you are tormenting yourself, the work you do is very good. Try to do some BAD work - the worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell - you are not responsible for the world - you are only responsible for your work - so DO IT. And don't think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be. But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working - then stop. Don't punish yourself. However, I think that it is so deeply engrained in you that it would be easier to DO!

It seems I do understand your attitude somewhat, anyway, because I go through a similar process every so often. I have an "Agonizing Reappraisal" of my work and change everything as much as possible = and hate everything I've done, and try to do something entirely different and better. Maybe that kind of process is necessary to me, pushing me on and on. The feeling that I can do better than that shit I just did. Maybe you need your agony to accomplish what you do. And maybe it goads you on to do better. But it is very painful I know. It would be better if you had the confidence just to do the stuff and not even think about it. Can't you leave the "world" and "ART" alone and also quit fondling your ego. I know that you (or anyone) can only work so much and the rest of the time you are left with your thoughts. But when you work or before your work you have to empty you [sic] mind and concentrate on what you are doing. After you do something it is done and that's that. After a while you can see some are better than others but also you can see what direction you are going. I'm sure you know all that. You also must know that you don't have to justify your work - not even to yourself. Well, you know I admire your work greatly and can't understand why you are so bothered by it. But you can see the next ones and I can't. You also must believe in your ability. I think you do. So try the most outrageous things you can - shock yourself. You have at your power the ability to do anything.

I would like to see your work and will have to be content to wait until Aug or Sept. I have seen photos of some of Tom's new things at Lucy's. They are impressive - especially the ones with the more rigorous form: the simpler ones. I guess he'll send some more later on. Let me know how the shows are going and that kind of stuff.

My work had changed since you left and it is much better. I will be having a show May 4 -9 at the Daniels Gallery 17 E 64yh St (where Emmerich was), I wish you could be there. Much love to you both.

Sol

twos.

            [eva hesse]               [margaret kilgallen]

two heroes. 

two deaths.

two months since the last post.

two days that i didn't sleep.

two days until i'm done.

two days until i see barack obama speak here in gr.

two art history exams tomorrow.

two more bfa reviews to survive. 

two weeks in the summer of tour with two b's. 

two (+ 1) months before i move to brooklyn heights for nycams.

two more semesters of college left.

two more hours before bed.

 

a good number of twos......

two slides from two exams tomorrow.

the magi asleep. 

un chien andalou.

two totally different exams.

t(oo) much putting off studying.

hearts,

k.

this guy.

is taking good care of me this week as i scurry around getting all the paperwork finalized for NY. 

(i can't get rid of this underline. strange.)

be back soon.

<3

no news is.......

winter has indeed arrived in full force. and with it a lot of indoor activities and movie watching.

"My Kid Could Paint That" and "Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten",at the UICA . Nurses and Clayre and i movied it up on a couple of sick fridays with a little of Woody Allen's "Mighty Aphrodite", Wes Anderson's "Bottle Rocket", the ever classic "Fight Club", and the new and entertaining "Juno".


all of this movie watching has rekindled my love for film, and what timing for it. the cinema is taking over G-RAD, a few of us NESTers have started showing films on sundays at 5 at NEST. our first month has been devoted to Agnes Varda's films, with "Cléo de 5 à 7" at our first showing and "The Gleaners and I" tonight.

interim ended with a bang and i've got some decent screenprints to show for it. i always forget how intense interim tends to be. the classes are usually pretty fun, but they often have a significant work load given the 3 week period. but wednesday was finally worth it, we ended our class with a well deserved lunch at little africa. our table had three vegans and two vegatarians and as pro's we dominated our combo platter and finished off the platter belonging to the rest of our group. somehow the geographical outline of the Upper Pennisula appeared in our injera .